sLiCk-PaLm

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

This lesson is on how not to do things seems to totally escape some people.
I’d love to see how the trip ended up but I feel confident he ended up in a ravine
somewhere wondering why bad things seems to always happen to him.



He’s hooked up and ready to fly!! It’s amazing how the extra weight really smoothed out the
ride in the truck. He did have to air up the rear tires a bit (around 160 psi)

He added some heavy-duty chain for extra support on the tailgate (note that he used the
“Heavy-Duty ‘S’ hooks to attach the chain) He also paid-up for some BIG 5/16 sheetmetal
screws to attach the frame to the tailgate. Yeah, he knows it’s overkill, but he didn’t want
the possibility of having an accident.



Much of his time was spent on his front porch whittling down that MASSIVE 4×4 board to
fit precisely into the ball mount receiver. Also note that he used a 14″ piece of 1×4 to help
distribute the load more evenly–”YOU CAN”T BE TOO SAFE, YOU KNOW!!”. ” It cost a little
more, but you just can’t be too safe when pulling a trailer of this magnitude !!”.
Look out Utah , cause here he comes !!!!